Friday, June 24, 2011

Kind-hearted Delusion Disolved

Should you ever become misinformed and start perceiving yourself as a kind-hearted individual who feels that all human beings have inherent worth, rest assured that you can always correct this delusion simply by doing some online dating. I suppose real life dating would do the same.

The unfortunate truth, as you will surely discover, is that you secretly think you are better than almost everyone, and that you are so convinced of your own awesomeness that you will probably be forced to die alone, wearing a smug and superior expression that will hopefully remain more or less intact despite spending the remainder of your days alone with your eleven cats.

I hate name droppers, living in the mecca of celebrity doesn't help. Here is one person I for sure think I am more awesome than- he is a world class name dropper- and also an American Actor- whatever that means. Gotta go feed the cats...

I'm an American Actor, Producer, and Real Estate Entrepreneur. My two biggest accomplishments are I'm a self-made millionaire at 26 and I produced a sitcom that NBC may be developing for the fall. I play one of the lead characters. I'd love to meet a positive, creative, and expressive girl with a deep heart and open mind who is infinitely curious and lives with passion. Two of my favorite thrills are inspiring people and making them laugh. I love adventure and I'm passionate about acting. Acting has given me a means to always grow, discover, take risks, and connect with people. It's because performing art moves us to experience our lives and relationships in a richer, deeper way that I always want to live for it. I left college at the age of 20 to pursue real estate and acting. It wasn't until 23 that I became a Real Estate broker and started my own company. Meanwhile I kept acting. I flipped my 1st property at 24. Meanwhile I kept acting. I began mentoring real estate investors on how to get their deals under contract, funded, and flipped at 25. Meanwhile I kept acting. At 26 I became a self-made millionaire and gave life to XX  Entertainment with my fellow actors. I have been inspired by many authors, teachers, actors, and public speakers. So in the meanwhile follow your dreams, stay inspired, and live with passion

He emailed- here is the boring banter that ensued::

he said:: I love a girl with passion.... Bacon and beets? you must be interesting.... Or a comedian.

she said:: No comedian... Just a plain ol girl who really likes beets... And bacon. But I am passionate about them both. Well, passionate about cooking in general. How's life in Santa Monica? Hope your weekend is a splendid one

he said:: Oh It's pretty rough here ;) do you ever come up here? It's been a funny night... just met with Owen Wilson at the viceroy here. What are you up to? 

she said:: I do make it up to Santa Monica every once in a while, but I commute a ton for work so when the weekends roll around I keep my truck parked and stick around the South Bay. Low key is much more my scene. How was the rest of your weekend?

he said:: It was =0) (HOLY SHIT, that puts the :-) to SHAME) an extraordinary weekend. No exaggeration. I could tell you, but i think you'd appreciate my enthusiasm more in person if you heard it. Maybe we could get together soon for a glass of wine by the firepit here and head out to the promenade for dinner and a movie.... or maybe there's something you've been wanting to do here in Santa Monica? My house is on the hill across the street from the Santa Monica Airport so it's cool to see the planes land and take off with the ocean in the background sitting next to the fire. I'm not sure when we could, but if you're up for it we should try.

he said:: I'm looking for a sushi and sake partner tonight... You wanna go? Ry

she said:: ah, I'm not very good at checking this thing, so I suppose my answer was no...
hope you found a lovely lady to take you up on your offer though. also, out of curiosity, does the name drop thing work for you?

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