This is from my sexy friend who loves beer and gaga....
Should I wear the red skirt and white blouse or go with the “I’m not really trying” jeans look? Maybe I will just stick with the crowd pleaser and popular choice of my black “make my butt look juicy” yoga pants matched with a cute t-shirt that could probably fit a 5 year old girl. The painted on pants win...lets just be honest here, they are always a winner.
Back to my thought, you may think these are clothing options floating through the minds of thousands of women specifically getting ready for a much anticipated date.
Wrong.
Like a carousel collection of clothing labeled “this makes me look hot”, women are carefully making these choices not just for themselves but for the men at MMM. Thats short for the place I call : The Mecca of Marriage Material. This place also goes by its government name: Whole Foods. Yes, that store with the overly nice food stockers and endless choices of deli meats. Its not just a place where you over spend on some organic vegetable but a place where, if you are looking for what most women like “a tall man, fit, athletic, with maybe some dimples” this is the spot.
MMM is so consistently filled with hot men that I’m starting to think I need an invent an app for my single friends. An app that can locate the hottest ones zoning in on them based on which aisle they are walking down. “Cute toned surfer boy, Aisle 5” Aisle 5, the gluten free aisle. Obviously he’s there. By the way, I don’t get how people eat that gluten free stuff , its like eating an ice cream cone without the ice cream. You are missing the good stuff.
Here’s the twist. I’m already taken. I have a fiance but if I could re-do my bachelorette days in an effort to save money, along with my gang of single friends, I would pop a bottle of wine and station ourselves right near the meat counter... grazing like a pack of zebras. We could even score dinner there! Fat free of course. If that guy Michael Vartan (the poor mans version of Ben Affleck actor that ironically dated Jennifer Garner and acts in the show Hawthorne) can meet his now wife while searching for green apples, what makes you think you can’t find your dream guy there. Look for yourself!
Moral of the story: Don’t judge those girls that are maybe wearing a little too much mascara or high heels while trying to pick out 8.99 a pound pre-made pasta. Maybe she doesn’t really like to eat healthy after all, in fact she probably hates spending $150 on 4 items... maybe she’s there to meet Mr. Perfect.
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