I find myself in this odd purgatory, much like a goldfish having to assimilate to a new aquarium by spending time in the safety of a plastic bag from the pet store.
That pretty much sums up online dating to me. Make sense? Allow me to elaborate...
I'm not much of a dater. As one of my best friends recently said: "Your game is that you have no game." True statement. I have no game... If you text me chances are 99% sure that I will text you back within a minute or two... If you call me, I will call you back as soon as I can... If I think you are handsome or cute I will tell you, probably on the first date. I am not good at playing hard to get. If I dig you I dig you, there will be no chase.
According to many of my friends this is my downfall. BUT, here is what I think... If you are in search of a girl that will play games with your head and your heart, I am simply not that girl. So better to move on and go find yourself another kind of crazy, cause this crazy don't mess around.
Where the hell am I going with this? Answer: I forgot.
I have seriously lost my train of thought here folks.
Moral of the story- I feel like a goldfish in a plastic bag, trying to find the right aquarium that won't suffocate the life outta me. One that might have one of those fancy treasure chests and some turquoise stones on the bottom. But what if the right aquarium isn't an aquarium at all- its just a simple lil bowl with brown pebbles on the bottom. Maybe that could work too. Sigh.
You are welcome for this very perplexing post. I am not even going to go back and edit it- talk about a stream of consciousness. I'm sorry and you're welcome and I love you. :)
Over-analysis. Just one of the many services I provide.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
You people Google some crazy ass shit to get here
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Damn, I think I am disqualified + Update
We're baaaaack! Did you miss us? We missed you!
So here is an update on the love life of these twins... One sister is practically hitched. No, not a guy she met on Match, although he was on the site as well but they apparently just never stumbled upon each other. He is quite rad and I for one hope they live happily ever after to take the grandchild pressure off of me. So that leaves me, the one that has written 99% of the content on here... still single. Real life. This is mine. Welcome to it.
This guys was "singled out" for me on Match yesterday- I think that means Match thinks we woud be a perfect match. I would have to disagree...
In His Own Words
...............UPDATE.........
So here is an update on the love life of these twins... One sister is practically hitched. No, not a guy she met on Match, although he was on the site as well but they apparently just never stumbled upon each other. He is quite rad and I for one hope they live happily ever after to take the grandchild pressure off of me. So that leaves me, the one that has written 99% of the content on here... still single. Real life. This is mine. Welcome to it.
This guys was "singled out" for me on Match yesterday- I think that means Match thinks we woud be a perfect match. I would have to disagree...
In His Own Words
...............UPDATE.........
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
New Match Spokesperson, of the unpaid variety
I talk about Match.
A lot.
I am not ashamed to be on it like a lot of people are.
I think it is a great thing and when I hear chicks or guys complain about being single or the dating scene my first response is that they should join Match.com. Seriously. I should get a cut of their profit from all the referrals I have given them.
Now, I recommend this avenue not because I think someone will find their soul mate on here. (Although my cousin got married a few weeks ago to a guy she met on there. Guaranteed everyone knows someone that has been married after meeting on one internet dating site or another. That's just plain statistics though.)
Do I think I will meet the love of my life in Match? Hell no.
Then why am I on it, and why do I suggest it with such enthusiasm?
Several reason...
1) I think its a huge confidence booster. Certainly there are creeps on there, this blog wouldn't exist without them. But in general there are some pretty cool guys/girls out there that are genuine in trying to find someone they click with- be that friendship or love. It's pretty cool getting hit on everyday, sometimes 10 times a day. Who wouldn't enjoy that?
2) It gets you over that "hump". I have a few friends who are freshly out of relationship and just need that extra little nudge to be able to move on. This is a relatively easy way to do that. Go out on a few dates, realize people are still attracted to you, and get the hell over it.
3) It opens you up to other opportunities. Sometimes you just get in a rut, I certainly was. Match gets you out of the funk and back into the dating world. Which can just be plain intimidating. It was for me; I am shy as hell. But going on all these dates (ha, I've been on 5 or so, not that many) has made me realize I can pretty much talk to a wall if need be. I always thought I was a terrible first impression but now I think I don't totally suck that bad. Every one of the guys asked me out again, so I suppose that means I wasn't a complete head case. Maybe. Regardless, in the time I have been on Match I have also met a few other really cool people outside of the site that I probably would not have been open to meeting had I not been in the "dating zone."
4) It is just plain entertaining. Case in point- this blog. You just can't take it too seriously. If you look at it like part of your dating life, not all of it, then you will sail through and have a great time. Meet a few cool people and after meeting one of them for drinks- meet up with some of your other friends since you are already out and about and maybe just maybe meet the mate of your dreams. Who knows, but at the very least give it a shot, what do you have to lose? And everyone could use a good laugh or two, Match.com does not disappoint on that!
The question I get asked a lot is am I serious about finding true love? Absolutely.
Do I think you can actually FIND true love? Eh, not really.
I do think you have to be in the right place in your life and with the right frame of mind in order to even be open to it, and to realize if you have it standing right in front of you.
I know I am there without a doubt.
I know I will be a wonderful wife, mother, sister-in-law, and member of a new family when the time comes... I say those last two because I think it is so important to be able to find someone you love, and love their family as well be loved by their family.
I am in no rush though, just enjoying the ride in the meantime!
Ok, enough serious stuff... I'll try to hunt down a good story for you all in the near future, stay tuned...
A lot.
I am not ashamed to be on it like a lot of people are.
I think it is a great thing and when I hear chicks or guys complain about being single or the dating scene my first response is that they should join Match.com. Seriously. I should get a cut of their profit from all the referrals I have given them.
Now, I recommend this avenue not because I think someone will find their soul mate on here. (Although my cousin got married a few weeks ago to a guy she met on there. Guaranteed everyone knows someone that has been married after meeting on one internet dating site or another. That's just plain statistics though.)
Do I think I will meet the love of my life in Match? Hell no.
Then why am I on it, and why do I suggest it with such enthusiasm?
Several reason...
1) I think its a huge confidence booster. Certainly there are creeps on there, this blog wouldn't exist without them. But in general there are some pretty cool guys/girls out there that are genuine in trying to find someone they click with- be that friendship or love. It's pretty cool getting hit on everyday, sometimes 10 times a day. Who wouldn't enjoy that?
2) It gets you over that "hump". I have a few friends who are freshly out of relationship and just need that extra little nudge to be able to move on. This is a relatively easy way to do that. Go out on a few dates, realize people are still attracted to you, and get the hell over it.
3) It opens you up to other opportunities. Sometimes you just get in a rut, I certainly was. Match gets you out of the funk and back into the dating world. Which can just be plain intimidating. It was for me; I am shy as hell. But going on all these dates (ha, I've been on 5 or so, not that many) has made me realize I can pretty much talk to a wall if need be. I always thought I was a terrible first impression but now I think I don't totally suck that bad. Every one of the guys asked me out again, so I suppose that means I wasn't a complete head case. Maybe. Regardless, in the time I have been on Match I have also met a few other really cool people outside of the site that I probably would not have been open to meeting had I not been in the "dating zone."
4) It is just plain entertaining. Case in point- this blog. You just can't take it too seriously. If you look at it like part of your dating life, not all of it, then you will sail through and have a great time. Meet a few cool people and after meeting one of them for drinks- meet up with some of your other friends since you are already out and about and maybe just maybe meet the mate of your dreams. Who knows, but at the very least give it a shot, what do you have to lose? And everyone could use a good laugh or two, Match.com does not disappoint on that!
The question I get asked a lot is am I serious about finding true love? Absolutely.
Do I think you can actually FIND true love? Eh, not really.
I do think you have to be in the right place in your life and with the right frame of mind in order to even be open to it, and to realize if you have it standing right in front of you.
I know I am there without a doubt.
I know I will be a wonderful wife, mother, sister-in-law, and member of a new family when the time comes... I say those last two because I think it is so important to be able to find someone you love, and love their family as well be loved by their family.
I am in no rush though, just enjoying the ride in the meantime!
Ok, enough serious stuff... I'll try to hunt down a good story for you all in the near future, stay tuned...
Monday, May 16, 2011
My First Angry Customer
This blog has sort of taken on a life of it's own. What started as a way for me to entertain a few close friends with my stories from the dating front lines has evolved into quite the extended community. You people are hard up for some dating drama/entertainment apparently! At my expense, but I am happy to oblige.
I did get my first hate mail last week though. Sort of awesome. And since I enjoy entertaining you all, here it is for your viewing pleasure. I am sure this will instigate further hate mail, but what the hell. Things have been slow on the dating front so perhaps this will keep you all happy for a little while longer while I sit patiently on the side lines awaiting Mr. Right. Until then...
Hater: funny blog.. whats your screen name on match?
Twins: anonymous is the key here friend!
Hater: not a member of match, i just wanna see your pics and what your profile says.
Twins: mmmm, nope.
Hater: jeez fucking louise is it that big a deal to tell your screen name on match, i mean you do have a profile on there for the whole world to see.. Well at least send some pics and ill send some of me
Twins: It's because I write anonymously genius. I don't want people to know who the person is that is writing all this shit. Also, I care less what you look like so don't hold your breathe on the photos.
Hater: yea, ive read your blog. And i must say, its American female cuntrags like you that are the reason 10's of thousands of Eligible single American men are traveling overseas to find wives.. Why? Well thanks for asking: because you (American women) SUCK... Google "American women suck" and you'll find dozens of websites, blogs, forums, etc. where you'll see what im talking about.. But i have a question.. Why is every guy considered a "creepy, douchebag, loser, phycho, stalker", etc. etc. ?? Thats the typical mindset of the average Americunt nowadays, that all men are sex-crazed rapists.. Welcome to a fucked up corrupt American society
Twins: bitter? listen dude, and I can not believe I am wasting my time writing back to someone who uses the word Americunt, but I write about the idiots out there, such as yourself, as that is what is funny. I have dated a bunch of guys that I don't write about because they are normal and nice and charming- but that doesn't make for a funny read now does it. Appears you have a chip on your shoulder, would you like to share why? I find it interesting that you freaked out just because I did not want to show you my match profile or send photos. I'm not in the habit of sending complete strangers photos and I think most women would agree. Now, if you actually took the time to strike up a conversation (remember you contacted me not the other way around) perhaps it would lead to that. But no, you showed your true colors right off the bat- no wonder you have a bad taste in your mouth- long live the Americunts if that means there are more chicks like me who call it like they see it and dont put up with assholes. travel overseas and find your bride, just don't reproduce as we don't need more of your kind in the world. Insert Happy Face Here.
That's the last I heard of my #1 fan. How unfortunate, things were just starting to get good too.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Umm. ya.
About him & Who he's looking for
You may find me undatable. It's okay, my subscription ends in 6 months and I am just filling blank spaces. I don't think this really work with people like me. I am not like any other profiles you see. Not in a weird way but in a way how Americans are idealized. I am difinitely shy at first and later too. Quiet, and keep to myself. I don't have too many friends. I only like genuine people. Not into outdoor activities but I do appreciate the nature and its beauty. If you like kayaking, diving, and backpacking, I may just lay on the beach and watch you or go fishing on a lake. I do like to do things out like eating out, shopping, going to theaters, walking my dog, etc. I like staying at home to clean, cook, and watch TV too. Not a socializer - I find myself being a statue at parties. People do find me boring. lol. No buddies football or basketball although I love one type of sport. I hate Super Bowl.
You probably won't find more independnt person than me. From where I came from, I was a rebel and I didn't fit into that society but I proved them wrong as I now have a quite compfortable living. I am loyal and dedicated. I treat people with respect. Laid back most of the time but very much into my work. I do have a lot of flexible time and I use it to travel sometimes. I've lived in 4 different countries and been to many places. Not into exotic destinations.
My ideal date is genuine, dedicated, and honest.. I get drawn to how honest people write about themselves. I tend to like women who are focused, not self-centered, independent, laid back and understanding. For a date, I'd like to take it slow and do things we like and we have not done. I grew up in cities and away from my family since young so I am not used to big families. But whenever I meet someone's family, I get accepted quite easily.
Oh by the way, that photo is not me. Ha ha. I am not caucasian or black either. Just keep it a mystery.
You probably won't find more independnt person than me. From where I came from, I was a rebel and I didn't fit into that society but I proved them wrong as I now have a quite compfortable living. I am loyal and dedicated. I treat people with respect. Laid back most of the time but very much into my work. I do have a lot of flexible time and I use it to travel sometimes. I've lived in 4 different countries and been to many places. Not into exotic destinations.
My ideal date is genuine, dedicated, and honest.. I get drawn to how honest people write about themselves. I tend to like women who are focused, not self-centered, independent, laid back and understanding. For a date, I'd like to take it slow and do things we like and we have not done. I grew up in cities and away from my family since young so I am not used to big families. But whenever I meet someone's family, I get accepted quite easily.
Oh by the way, that photo is not me. Ha ha. I am not caucasian or black either. Just keep it a mystery.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Guest Blogger
Yes, we have been a bit weak lately in the posting department. Damn jobs really get in the way of witty dating commentary. In the mean time, we have a special treat for you... a guest blogger! FUN! Please welcome Chris to the main stage- some pretty funny shit here::
#1
#2
Next is a slight chuckle for you......Well first allow me to explain, I am working on my MBA. Now I can't spell to save my ass (thank god for spell check) but WTF is this?????? There is nothing I can't stand more than dealing with a idiot. Needless to say I emailed him back trying to be nice (why I have no clue) and maybe give him the benefit of the doubt that he was in a hurry. (cuz it can happen)
So trying to be nice I response with:
He replies:
call me xxx-xxx-xxxx right off the bat, WHAT???
I come back with......in hopes of him going away, and far away for that matter.
He response, Oh I failed to mention, by the second email he sends the email not once but twice....yes ladies, twice I need to of them. (Are you fucking kidding me?)
my name is Dave and i did some college never finished i have my electrical license. i (yeah I don't know what happened there, looks like he was trying to type more but hit the mouse so it sent. I guess, not once but twice because I can't live without him or something, I don't know, not sure)
Oh wait!!!!!!!here's the second part
i am a technical trainer for Ui i train lineman how to do there job. my i have your # so i can call u (UI is an electric co. not that you two care, but just in case you questioned it)
So now he asked for my number, so I did not response hoping that he would have taken the hint on the I don't call email.....etc.
Next day I get:
can i have ur # so i can call u Yes and once again, I get not once but twice......STALKER can you imagined if he had my #. I want to stab the asshole in the neck with a pen.
Needless to say I responded with NO and nothing else.
Ah klassie. See what I did there? Spelling people, let's use what god gave us and get our spell check on.Thanks for the email Chris- and good luck on the hunt. Like we said before, dating is a blood sport & there are no medals involved.
#1
I'm Steve. You were my singled out match for today. I'm a construction manager for a multinational environmental corporation (Weston Solutions, Inc.) I have been with them for 18+ years. I'm divorced with 3 teen kids. Most of my work is in the Tri-state area, though I do get occasional distant assignments (Edmonton, Hawaii, Texas, Louisiana, etc.). Like you, I'm not looking for an F-buddy. I want a serious relationship and I'm in it for love. From the tone of your profile I get the impression that our personalities would clash. I am easy going and independent, but I definitely do not like to be told what to do. For me love is a mutual endeavor where each partner contributes to the overall success of the relationship. Both filling in the other's weaknesses and relying on the other's strengths. I live in Haddam and have an office in Glastonbury. I typically manage things directly on jobsites using my interpersonal skills to build relationships with supervisors, subordinates and associates to solve complex operational and logistical problems. I'm very much into the outdoors pursuing almost every type of fish and game throughout the year. This is very relaxing and rewarding for me and removes all but the most difficult stress from my life. I'm looking for 1 partner and lover.
So what am I? a dating prospect or a job he's applying for a job, I was confused, help me out here.#2
Next is a slight chuckle for you......Well first allow me to explain, I am working on my MBA. Now I can't spell to save my ass (thank god for spell check) but WTF is this?????? There is nothing I can't stand more than dealing with a idiot. Needless to say I emailed him back trying to be nice (why I have no clue) and maybe give him the benefit of the doubt that he was in a hurry. (cuz it can happen)
Hello
I enjoyed reafing about you. I would like to know mare and if u feel the same let me know
So trying to be nice I response with:
Hi,
Feel free, but I am going to be honest. I don't plan on sticking around in central CT because I do not have a good paying job. I plan on moving (down to southwestern CT for work) for one and for two I getting really sick of this site and plan on canceling my membership soon. But feel free, I'm open for just about anything.
Thanks for understanding,
Chris
He replies:
call me xxx-xxx-xxxx right off the bat, WHAT???
I come back with......in hopes of him going away, and far away for that matter.
I don't call at first I like to sick to emails.......Another thing, how about a name? What else do you do for work? I know to teach kickboxing. Also, what your is your college degree in?????
Thanks (notice I didn't put my name down-A and B- he has no college degree, Gee big surprise) He response, Oh I failed to mention, by the second email he sends the email not once but twice....yes ladies, twice I need to of them. (Are you fucking kidding me?)
my name is Dave and i did some college never finished i have my electrical license. i (yeah I don't know what happened there, looks like he was trying to type more but hit the mouse so it sent. I guess, not once but twice because I can't live without him or something, I don't know, not sure)
Oh wait!!!!!!!here's the second part
i am a technical trainer for Ui i train lineman how to do there job. my i have your # so i can call u (UI is an electric co. not that you two care, but just in case you questioned it)
So now he asked for my number, so I did not response hoping that he would have taken the hint on the I don't call email.....etc.
Next day I get:
can i have ur # so i can call u Yes and once again, I get not once but twice......STALKER can you imagined if he had my #. I want to stab the asshole in the neck with a pen.
Needless to say I responded with NO and nothing else.
Ah klassie. See what I did there? Spelling people, let's use what god gave us and get our spell check on.Thanks for the email Chris- and good luck on the hunt. Like we said before, dating is a blood sport & there are no medals involved.
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