Friday, March 18, 2011

VIP. Who knew?

Who knew that's what VIP stood for on good 'ol Not this twin. Slowly learning that Match has it's own vocabulary. Wink. VIP. Daily 5. We will learn together what these all mean in due time, but let's focus on VIP today shall we?

I received this message yesterday with the headline of: 
Just so you know, this is beach******'s only VIP Email of the week, and he chose to send it to you.

To me?! Special. Let's see what he has to say...


Where to begin? After reading your profile all I can say is, You're Perfect. And by that I mean you are perfect for me. There was not one thing I read that I did not say, "great", or "just like me", or "I have to meet this woman", lol. <Balls. He said lol. Do we keep reading?! Why not, I mean this is my FIRST VIP email!>
As you can see I am over your 39 year age range but at least I am not 50 and have no pictures of me in front of the mirror, lol. <Strike #2> I am a young 44. What does that mean? Well considering some of the other 44 year old men I have been around, I think I look pretty good for my age (no beer belly and 98% of my hair). I am also very active and like to participate in sports and staying in shape. I am tall like you. So feel free to put on some 3 inch heels and our lips will be at the perfect height for kissing. <bold statement> I am also secure enough in my manhood that if you want to wear the 4 or 5 inch heals, I would say "you go girl", but not in a cheesy accent. <oh wow> You did say you don't like your job and you would love to just lie on the beach and wear flip flops or no shoes at all. Sounds like someone is looking to relocate to a tropical paradise where she could find a new career she enjoyed while digging her toes into the warm sand. Now I know you live in Hermos Beach and you have the ocean and the sand there so you are probably not chomping at the bit to move to Hawaii. However, we have water you can swim in 12 months of the year and we never wear wetsuits.....can you say that about Hermosa Beach? <all excellent points> I love dogs and my ex-wife got the dog in the divorce so how about you and I get a puppy or two. <bold statement #2> What breeds do you like? Big or small? Read my profile and you will see I love to travel just like you. So let's rob a bank and just travel the world. Okay perhaps living on the run might not be the best thing but with you, it is tempting. <Is that a compliment?> Your humor about your cooking made me laugh. I actually do like to cook although being single makes it hard. Cooking for one is no fun and a waste of food. So will you be my guinea pig and I can cook for you? I cook, you blog! <um ya, that kind of defeats the point> Well if you have not fallen asleep reading this long email or hit delete before now, I thank you. I thank you for at least considering contacting a sexy, gentleman who lives 3,000 miles from you. <You are welcome, although I must admit I am not even remotely considering that> All I am asking is a conversation or two to see if there is any chemistry on the phone or even through emails. Perhaps a small spark that makes one of us jump on a plane to see if there is any physical chemistry once our eyes meet and I get to give you a big bear hug (sorry it is Hawaiian tradition, lol). <strike #3> <Side note, I had a family member who lived in Hawaii for 7 years- last time I checked a bear hug is not a Hawaiian tradition> What do you have to lose? At the very least, you end up with a friend in Hawaii who can show you around on your next vacation. I was saving my VIP for someone perfect for you can see....I found her.
Hope to hear from you.

1 comment:

  1. This is great! I've wanted to use some of the interesting finds and communications from Match, but can't bring myself to do it. Plus, I've heard that women receive all sorts of weird messages form men. Thanks for sharing one!